i hate the fact that me and my ex- boy friend josh have barely been broken up for 3 fucking weeks and he already has a fucking girl friend i guess i really didn't mean much to him at all. i at lest have the decency to want a friendship and not another fucking relationship i hate stupid ppl no matter who i date always seem to have their best interests in mind they could careless about my feelings ha and here i thought i actually loved josh i guess i was wrong i hope i can learn form my trusting to easy on line i mean what was i suppose to thing he spent money on a plan ticket to come see me i thought we were good for each other o well such is my stupidity
omg so the other day i was given something to think about and it isnt healthy for me i will be flying out to mi in april and gonna be gone for like 5 days so i hope that in that time it will ease its way outta my mind..... how can i go from being okay then felling as if i was lost or as if something was missing in my life o well such is life
omg so i know i haven't written in a while but so much shit has been going on lately and i havent had much time to do anything for me it seems like. 1.) i work a long shift most of the time its from like 4pm to like 1 or 2am 2.) i have school work that i still havent done that is due on tuesday 3.) i need to eat and sleep 4.) it seems like all i ever do is work eat sleep and what not then i feel bad for trying to take the time out for me during the day. so today at work started good then it just got worse and worse. my boss started getting really bitterly annoyed and yelled at me and tiania. with her it was about her not telling him what was bugging her from work issues and then he started yelling at me because i want an hour or two heads up before having to go to work because i may have plans that need to change. then he says that i am being disrespectful by saying that i have plans to possibly go eat after work to him it sounded like i was implying that my social life was more important which i so didnt. i mean yes i hangout with my friend donald because i dont hang out with anyone else really but when i have free time as little as it may be i put off my home work so i have me time because if i didnt all i would be doing is work sleep eat school work eat work school work work sleep work work eat. and maybe more working in that then anything else. ugh okay i guess im done venting for tonight i am gonna go to bed. love u josh hope to talk to u soon......
so i have been thinking that the small thing i felt for darin was just that of not seeing him for ever. josh is the one that i am with and have a thing for and i miss talking to him alot i cant wait to go visit him in mi and met his parents. i see josh and i going places in the future. any ways today was christmas and it was good at lest there was no fighting this time and kevin wasnt all that drunk. everyone loved the gifts that i got them which was great. not much else to write about but well nothing all that i can think about is school and josh <3
okay so today was the first day i got to hangout and see Darin again. and that is because he moved away to Nevada and came back during the summer and that is when i normal leave to go see my grandparents or i'm just never home lol. well we had a blast i met him at the 76 and then walked down towards the airport then to bk and got food to eat then we did some more walking and then went to the graveyard and went down to the swing that i didn't know was there and hung out and took alot of pictures. then went to his grandmas and hung out for a while. you know i forgot how cute he was i mean he was always good looking as a child in elementary and 6th grade before he moved away but omg he has toned up and has short hair now. i mean i'm still with josh and i wouldnt change that for the world but i never really thought a crush would last as long as mine has. this is nothing serious of corse we both have other halves and what not i just cant belive i still felt that. lol we are just friends and that is good because he was my best friend as a child